A Tense Present Tense

I am working on an ending to that comparison piece that looks at the evolution of Euripides’ Hippolytus to Seneca’s Phaedra,to Racine’s Phèdre.

Wait. Wait, weren’t you working on that, like, weeks ago, D?

Yeah, well, piss off. Our Italian artistic associate showed me the Italian way to flick someone off with a brush of the hand off the chin. She did it so nonchalantly, I thought she was trying to catch a stray hair that was tickling her face. That is what I am doing to you. Right now. As I type this . . . don’t try to figure out the mechanics of it . . .

I haven’t finished it yet because I haven’t had time! We always knew January was going to be bad. And it is going to be. We’re celebrating our 100-year-old theater (the most beautiful theater in the United States) on the 9th, followed by the opening of Phèdre and then three weeks of First Look (our new works festival. I’ll write more about the amazing line up we’ve got going later). I’ve told Rachel I am kissing her goodbye the day after our anniversary (New Years) until Valentines Day.

But I don’t think we realized January was going to smack us in the face so early into December. The deadlines for the centennial are overwhelming the publications department while the new works festival is making unplanned-for-demands of the non-existent literary department. And, of course, marketing still hasn’t hired a copywriter. It’s been 4 months . . . I’ve never been so scared of a week of work as I am about this week coming up. Luckily, over the summer we moved down to an office with its own door. And that door is going to be closed until the Holiday Party on Friday (oh, did I mention that I’m helping get that whole thing together too? The joys of non-profit theater! what. the. crap).

Why are you writing on your blog then, D? Why aren’t you getting ahead on either work or sleep or something?

Well, I was working on that comparison piece, but then I realized I didn’t know what to do when writing about the fictional lives of characters in a work that no longer exists (namely Hippolytus Veiled), and the conundrum was too good to not write about. Racine wrote (past tense) Phèdre. But in Phèdre, the unfortunate queen swoons and loves and lies and dies, all in the present tense because it is always happening. It is happening right now, as I write this (and flick you off Italian style). But what if the fictional action to which I am referring happens/ed in a piece of work that no longer exists . . . is it still happening? Even though no one can see that it is happening? What was the conclusion of that tree falling in the forest philosophical riddle?

Is this the kind of thing you think about at work, D?

Well, yeah, sometimes. We have debates over prepositions too . . . and get angry about people who think lead is the past tense of lead (it’s “led,” people!). I mean, I do other stuff too. Like, a lot of other stuff.

But you do this stuff too, right?

. . . Yes.

Would that have anything to do with you being behind.

. . . No.

Really?

Fftttppt.

What was that?

I was doing that chin thing to you.

Mature.

Look, some people take smoke breaks. We take nerd breaks, when we geek out over the intricacies of the English language.

You wrote a play this weekend, didn’t you?

. . . Maybe

And that’s why you’re writing in dialogue right now, isn’t it?

. . . Maybe.

I hate it when you write plays.

Fftttppt.

Sigh.

False Deadlines

I’m back in St. Louis for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving and wedding planning. I am sitting in my parents’ backyard enjoying real autumn, not that fake stuff the Bay Area has. I just crunched a pile of dry leaves beneath my feet. You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you San Francisco?

Taking off three days from work is a bit nerve-wracking, and, really, I should not even be thinking about work at all! I should talking to caterers and figuring out if we can afford a photographer! But, oh well. Theater is on my mind, so I might as well set the demon to rest before I go meet with the dude about the tent. Tent? Yes tent. Circus Wedding! High wire acts. Elephants . . . No. Not really.

I planned this “vacation” back in August when I was making the master calendar for the season because, on paper, this week is actually a pretty decent one to take off. We just sent off one program to the printer and we are not yet jamming up against the deadlines for our slot 4 show. Are we ahead? Hell no. But we are, as of this moment, where we need to be. Knock on cyberwood . . . wait that probably means something else . . .

Apparently last August, as I was figuring this trip out, I did something very clever. I gave us a false deadline for the program we just sent off on Friday, which actually needed to go to the printer today. False deadlines are great. It is manager’s equivalent to setting the clock in your car ten minutes fast. Of course, I completely forgot that the deadline was false. It was like that scene in Momento when Leonard—who is unable to create new short-term memories—purposefully writes down false information to fool himself. On the plus side, we beat our deadline by a weekend, allowing us and our publisher a more relaxed Thanksgiving week. On the down side, we certainly stressed ourselves out to last week more than we needed.

False deadlines won’t really work for wedding planning. It just all has to get done, and the sooner the better. And once you finish one small tasks–hotel rooms blocked √–there are a hundred more little things to figure out. Not only have we never gotten married before, we also haven’t really planned a party before. We did have about 20 friends over for a surprise birthday party last month. We made pizza, an experience that squashed our belief that self-catering our reception would be feasible.

We are taking comfort in reading about the wedding experiences of similarly, budget-conscious, artsy folks, especially A Backyard Wedding and 2000 Dollar Wedding. The fact that they made it work gives us hope!

It could be worse . . .

busyness unusual

This week was crazy busy at work. Training the new intern. Getting the Brief Encounter program off before deadline. Organizing my new desk and all of our archives and books. Meeting with marketing about the A.C.T. blog (which our last intern founded!) and the role the new interns will play with running it. And general settling in to the somewhat unsettling sixth floor. I never knew I had such loud (what is a more polite word for loud? Boisterous? Booming) colleagues or that sound could travel around corners and through walls with such ease! Impressive.

We were warned against moving downstairs by some because of the greater emotional/psychological tax of being in the middle of things. After just a week, I have no doubt these sages were right: it will be more taxing. Any location would be more taxing than our window-lined corner of the 7th floor, hidden next to the wonderful and delightfully quiet finance department. But all in all, is still feels like the right decision! Ask me again in a month.

Yes. I stole a binder from work. Don’t tell, Linus.

While I love busy weeks and cramming every minute at work with tasks, it does mean I get home late and without much energy for the other big project: the wedding. I joined the Project Wedding website a couple months ago and have been getting daily tips that convince me that I am the only male who has ever signed up. More upsetting, however, is the day-ticker they attach to each email. Today is apparently “309 days until the big day,” and I should, apparently, be thinking about “the world’s most bizarre wedding cakes.” I knock it, but it does have helpful stuff. Yesterday’s email was all about the pros and cons of a DIY wedding:

DIY Wedding Reception Food

Pros: A bride [sexist bastards!] planning an intimate gathering of family and friends will benefit the most from DIY wedding food. Preparing hors d’oeuvres, the main course, sides, and dessert for a small number of people usually winds up much cheaper than hiring catering services. Lucky brides [it's f-ing 2009 you twits!] don’t even have to lift a finger in some cases when family members offer to handle this task.

Cons: Will you honestly be able to feed a guest list consisting of 200 people? Catering your own event may also mean enlisting the help of relatives or succumbing to a potluck dinner affair. While some couples can entertain guests with an outdoor BBQ, are you prepared to keep in line with your wedding theme if you provide DIY wedding food?

Lots to consider!