Onsite Theatre Commission: Day 9 (a moment with Glen Berger)

A spot of grocery shopping, a few diapers changed, dinner, a chat on the phone, a shower, a shave, and an arduous mission retrieving a small round dog toy from under the couch—that has been my day today, and all in all, little to write home about, certainly nothing demanding deep considerations, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing strange. That is, if it weren’t for three incontrovertible Facts:  1) The universe contains well over 500,000,000,000 galaxies, with each galaxy containing over 1,000,000,000,000 stars, of which our vast, blazing and life-bestowing sun . . . is one. 2) The Earth is 4,600,000,000 years old, in which time, from the Pre-Cambrian Era to the Present, a dizzying, terrifying number of inhabitants—amoebas and trilobites, dust mites and Neanderthals—have all struggled to live from one hour to the next. (Indeed, more living creatures are in my stomach (and yours) at this moment than the total number of human beings that have ever existed. 3) I will die. I will be dead in sixty years, though it’s entirely conceivable that I’ll be dead before the week is out.

And suddenly all the props holding up my warm and secure little existence are kicked away and used for kindling. The imagination is taxed to exhaustion and left numb and agape when it even begins to fathom the implications of these Facts. They beggar the most breathless hyperbole . . . I write plays to help me keep these Three Facts in the front of my head. IN other words, I write to try to keep myself engaged with the Bewildering and Infinite.

—Glen Berger, Afterword of Underneath the Lintel: An Impressive Presentation of Lovely Evidences

Theater is theater, not church

At the end of the play the lights came up and the actors took their bows, and I was ready to leave. I had come to see a friend perform and he had done quite well. He had asked me to read the play beforehand: a totally decent script; nothing earth-shattering but, I thought, well-crafted and entertaining and with a great role for him. I was looking forward to the production, and my friend did not p. But, as we all know, there is only so much one actor in an ensemble of four can do to save a bad production. I saw him attempting to adjust to the flailing performances of the two actresses, trying to temper their shouting and offset their strange overacting which brought out faults of the script that could’ve/should’ve been hidden. I was much less patient with the play’s three endings than I had been when reading it because I wanted so badly for it to be over.

So imagine my annoyance when the  associate artistic director / director of the production came out–accidentally interrupting the final bow of the curtain call!–to explain (at some length) why the cast would now be passing offering plates around the theater: “Remember,” he half reminded, half scolded, “Theater is church.”

Interestingly, I actually went to church this morning for the first time since high school and, I can tell you with great certainty, theater isn’t church. Yes there are similarities. Both have an audience and a stage-area. Churches often present performances: a choir and musicians; the church I went to this morning presented modern dance to the reading of a poem (ah, Unitarians! I don’t care what Garrison Keillor says!). Both institutions are strongly community-oriented and, arguably, at their best offer an insight into the human condition. But theater is first and foremost an artform and entertainment. Church, on the contrary, is primarily about personal, communal, and spiritual health. Saying theater is church is like saying a eating at a good restaurant is equivalent to meeting with your support group (where there might or mightn’t be cupcakes).

A performance theory theorist could expound on many other overlaps between worship and theater. And I hear what this dude was saying as he  guilted us with some higher obligation to donate, as if one visit to his theater made us a member of his congregation (Churches don’t charge $20 a ticket at the door, buddy!) I too, as I assume most theater practisioners do, acknowledge that theater is not just an entertaining artform because the communal elements of being in the same room with the other viewers and the performers (and all the risks the performers are taking) sets it apart. Many of us do replace church with theater. I’ve done so for almost a decade. But after almost two years working in professional theater in some capacity and committing myself to the local theater communities of two great cities, I still found myself in church this morning at 9am. And when they passed that collection plate around, I was happy to take out my wallet.

First rule as a detective: nothing is random.

Ra’s al Ghul had a sword imbedded into this computer console.
At the time, I was focused on the sword itself and its meaning. It’s placement appeared random other than to draw my attention.
In doing so, I may have neglected the first rule as a detective…
…nothing is random.

Batman Hush Vol. 2

For those of you curious on who Batman really is, you need to read Batman Hush, which displays the Dark Knight as the perfect union of action hero and detective genius. It also shows why Batman would win in a fight against Superman (you know you’ve all speculated).

Metropolis.
I hate this city.
We came hunting for Poison Ivy for crimes she committed in Gotham City.
She has taken control of Superman.
If I know him–and I do–I know what his next move will be.What he doesn’t know is what my next move will be.

I HATE that this is the only image I can find of this battle because Superman never gets a shot in on Batman (as this image would have you believe)!

…
You don’t come to Metropolis and not be prepared for him.
If Clark wanted to, he could use his superspeed and squish me into the cement.
But I know how he thinks. Even more than the Kryptonite he’s got one big weakness.
Deep down, Clark’s essentially a good person…
…and deep down, I’m not.

Batman Hush Vol.1