HULK SMASH! An open Letter to the writers of Heroes:

HeroesI should love Heroes! On paper, it should be my favorite television show of all time. And the fact that it isn’t is infuriating. Because it should be. If the writers were doing their job, it should be. Because Heroes is about superheroes and questioning the humanity and the mythology behind what makes them so super, and if you haven’t figured it out by now, that is pretty much right up my alley.

So what’s the problem? Rules. There are no fucking rules in this show, and a show about superheroes without rules, without limits, without logic, sacrifices story for spectacle, and spectacle is only interesting for so long. That length of time expired for me somewhere in season 1.

But I keep watching, guys! Because I know you can do better! I know you know you made a mistake with the time travel thing in Season 1. Time travel is tricky, and so few do as well as Marty McFly. But if you know it doesn’t work, WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING IT? And I know you know that Peter and Sylar’s powers are just too awesome, but you cannot just ignore them! You created them! Either kill them or redefine them, but don’t make them badasses in one scene and then wimps in the next. I’ve been able to keep all their powers straight, why the hell can’t you! Peter can do anything anyone else can do, so long as he has been with them long enough to empathize (for lack of a better term) with them. Sylar has all the powers he has learned by fingering through his victims brains. So far that includes: telekinesis, enhanced memory, enhanced hearing, precognition . . . and so on!

Rosencrantz: Consistency is all I ask!
Guildenstern: Give us this day our daily mask.

I could dedicate a blog to the inconsistencies in the show. Maybe somebody has. I hope you read that guy’s blog. I hope you’re taking notes on it.

Shape up. Stop using the writer’s strike as an excuse. That was last season. This is this season. And you’re pissing me off.

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