Hulk Smash: Delta Airlines(or, I am writing this through the fog of exhaustion that can only be produced by air travel)

Last night, I thought the light snow was a fitting farewell to my Thanksgiving visit home to good ol’ St. Louis. I had appreciated the piles of browned leaves and the crispness to the autumn air. I was not going to get an autumn in San Francisco, and certainly not flurries.

I am less excited in hindsight: that light dusting, while not accumulating on the ground, blanketed my plane before its suggested 7:55am departure. This would not have been a big deal, but apparently it takes an hour to de-ice a plane. Somehow this is “nature’s fault” and thus the airline is not responsible for the additional costs associated with the missed connection that followed. If we had not agreed to fly into San Jose (an extra 30 miles, 2 hours, and 1 train ride south), we would currently be paying for the cheapest motel room Salt Lake City offers. Sorry, Delta, but blaming nature for the unnatural slowness of your de-icer, while planes from other airlines are zooming off behind us…it’s a bit of a stretch.

Another discovery: if your Delta ticket tells you your departure time is 11:00am (which was the departure time for our connection flight to San Francisco), it really means “the flight TAKES OFF at 11:00am.” You have to be there at least 10 minutes early (usually not a problem, I grant you). This was explained to us by the very nice lady who was left behind at the lonely desk like an elderly Eskimo to explain to us why the rest of our day was going to suck: “We always leave the gate 10 minutes before take off. This time we waited until 7 minutes before, but then we learned that your plane HAD LANDED we realized it was going to be more than 7 minutes.” Well, thanks, for waiting until we landed? That showed you at least tried? We to her station and the closed and bolted B06 Door, in fact, 8 minutes later. At 11:01, after our first flight had left an hour late because someone couldn’t figure out how to unkink a hose, this lovely lady was trying to sell us on Delta’s punctuality.

Our flight to San Jose had a departure time of 1:40. We began boarding at 1:15. Everyone was on by 1:30. Nobody was rushing from a connecting flight. Did we pull away like the Delta handbook instructs we MUST? Nope. We left the gate 4 minutes after we were apparently supposed to be in the air.

I don’t deny this was undoubtedly a busy day, but I don’t care. Liars piss me off. Especially when I give them 600 bucks to get me places on time.

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