Quote of the Day: “I’ll patrol and stuff as soon as I get off.”

Oh no! Apparently the X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie might not be the high-quality film I hoped and dreamed it would be! All other criticism aside, the following might be the most damning in my mind:

As for Gambit, he barely appears and exists only to appease the few and vocal. His fight scene with Logan is especially amusing, as it causes tons of property damage without comment, and because it quickly becomes a classic ‘neither of us want to lose, but the fans want to see us fight’ smack down, resulting in no real outcome and no story advancement.

What the crap! Thanks for the heads up, Scott Mendelson! Unnecessary storyline. “Astoundingly conventional, uncompelling [sic], and completely cliché.” I can deal with that. I can lower my expectations. But insufficient use of Gambit? Unforgivable! This movie just got downgraded to Netflixable. 

In other superhero news, apparently while I’m talking the talk a number of people are walking the walk:

I visited Shadow Hare’s myspace page (of course I did) and found a definite quote of the day (bumping the line “The invented adjective ‘Santayanian’ lends his poem all the grace of a walking crow” found in the Edward Albee biography I am reading in prep for Edward Albee’s At Home At the Zoo [the play formerly known as, simply, At Home at the Zoo (previously titled Peter and Jerry)]):

Shadow Hare Is going to work….I’ll patrol and stuff as soon as I get off.

But as ridiculous as this status update makes Shadow Hare seem, reading through the comments on his page it becomes clear that even if he isn’t “doing” a whole lot of hero work, he is a hero to a lot of people, especially other aspiring heroes. Will some stupid kids in masks get hurt following his example? Seems exceedingly likely. If they are anything like Shadow Hare himself, they are scrawny, high-pitched youngsters walking around with pepper spray. But kids get hurt in a plethora of violent and nonviolent ways, and I’m not going to be a dick about it like Justin Yu is his article:

The first thing these guys need, judging from the video, is a super gym membership with a super personal trainer on the side. Plenty of comic book characters don’t actually have super powers, Batman being the most popular, but the difference here is that he makes up for it with intense physical and psychological training and gadgets unobtainable by the public–therein lies the mystique, that not just anyone can be a superhero. These guys, on the other hand, just look gross.

Are there ways that Shadow Hare and his posse could more effectively strike fear in the hearts of Cincinnati criminals? Surely. But I don’t see you out there, Mr. Yu. And as one commenter suggests,

Simply having the light on at night makes one’s home less desirable to thieves. So these group of, yes, less than powerful super heroes simply roaming around the streets does make the city safer. I don’t want them listening to police scanners, going out and interfering with crimes in progress because they could get hurt. But what they are doing, although it may seem silly, is commendable. As long as the police know who they are, and they aren’t actually trying to apprehend people, let them be.

And in Shadow Hare’s own words:

And as for anyone else reading this, we have just gotten started, we are nowhere near over yet. We will fight tooth and nail to make this world a much better place. The Allegiance has assembled….people are starting to know…..criminals and corrupt people will run out of places to hide. We are going to give the people the last laugh. Just wait and see.  Stay tuned for next time, Im sure things are going to get very furry.

I see the shadows of shadows

-Shadow Hare

Not the most eloquent, but certainly inspiring in its own way for its sincerity.

(The preceding video employs the use of expletives and homosexual innuendos that may be inappropriate for younger audiences, Puritans, and Old Testament characters named Lot. But if you laughed your ass off, go here for the other episodes.)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s